Dear Jess,

You will be happy to know that I have finally finished the last book in the Twilight series. (If you are at all interested in these and do not want spoilers because you are even slower at reading these then me, do not read the rest. Just saying) (Also, if you are not interested in these books, don’t bother reading the post, because that is all this is about)

The first book was good, the second was not quite as good, and the third book seemed to me to be filler. Turned out to be somewhat necessary, but still seemed to have a less directional story line than the others.

But the fourth book?!

First, let me qualify that I understand that reading about vampires and werewolves in and of it self takes some imagination. I know that this is a fictional story, but it is a good story, and I can become enmeshed in the story enough to suspend reality.

But SERIOUSLY?!

First, she gets pregnant from DEAD SPERM! (I don’t care how many chromosomes it has, but you expect me to believe that female vampire eggs cannot be fertilized but male vampire sperm can still make babies?!!!) I can believe that there is magic and supernatural powers at work in the world, but to suspend my understanding of biological concepts is hard when you stress it like that. Then, to top it off, the baby takes ONE MONTH to grow to full term gestation????

Then, THE FRICKING WEREWOLF IMPRINTS ON THE HALF-VAMPIRE BABY??!!! Come on! Seriously?! You expect me to believe that there isn’t something in his DNA that thinks that she ‘smells bad’ or is as bad as the rest of them??? Of all of the preposterous things! And then, everything is ok after that? That Bella isn’t like normal newborn vampires? And that she gains such control over her powers in such a short amount of time? And that her parents and everyone else have no problems accepting the transformation? And that they can talk themselves out of the Volturi attacks that easily? (Sorry, but Aro seemed very wishy-washy in his reasoning.)

Seriously?!

<3,

Steph

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0 thoughts on “Dear Jess,”

  1. See, now I thought you would like that she was prego like you.

    Honestly, Steph, I like that series the same way I like SpongeBob cartoons. Yes, I know it is impossible to build a fire underwater, but I enjoy the goofy plotlines anyway. This is the same with my love for Twilight. I’m a sucker (ha ha, pun intended) for a vampy love story, and I have ALWAYS fantasized about some hunky vampire biting me and taking me away to an eternal life of adventure and fun. So, I like the books. I want Edward to be real, and I want to go back in time so he can fall in love with MY high school self instead of Bella.

    Is it great literature? Of course not. Is it full of deus ex machina plot twists? Of course it is. But I don’t care! I still love it. It’s just a good escapist story. I think this is why I’m the English teacher and you’re the science teacher. It never bothered me that his sperm should be dead – I was too busy fantasizing about it. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. 🙂

    Like

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